LAUGHING AT THE NARCISSIST

I have to say that I feel guilty feeling so smug about this, but something very interesting happened in the course of my life recently! As many of you already know, I am married to an undiagnosed narcissist. I have quite bitter feelings about the way I have been treated in this relationship, as is the case with many who are married to narcissists!

One thing I cannot stand having around me is a liar! I outgrew that kind of stuff years ago! I have caught this man in many lies, from posting an ad on a pornographic website to hoarding money while I struggled to survive.

One of the more interesting things he told me during our relationship has been with regard to one beautiful girl in particular that we went to high school with (yes, unfortunately, I have known this guy THAT long....). He told me how they dated, slept together, he dumped her, etc. Well, it turns out that he made up quite an elaborate story, I guess, because she knows nothing about it.

Yesterday, she contacted me by Facebook. I was never friends with her, in fact, we were anything BUT friends (that's why I fell for his story). I had no idea why she would be contacting me and adding me as a friend on Facebook. I am really not very savvy at Facebook, either, and it is aggravating to me that now I log in and her face is the first thing I see, but I can figure that out later...(UPDATE: I deactivated my Facebook account...)

Anyways, I figured that since I had his last name, she was trying to reach him, not me. So I sent her a message saying that I knew she had gone out with him and that I would be happy to put her in touch with him, as we had broken up anyway. Her response was that she had simply requested everyone that graduated that year from our school, and that she knew who he was but had never gone out with him. In subsequent messages, we also mentioned some other mutual friends, and I am to get someone I am still friends with to contact her.

Poetic justice! I should have known he never slept with her. She was WAY out of his league (...and mine, for that matter, that's why we were never friends)! He also told me that he had drinks with Sandra Bullock. The list of his lies could go on for miles.

It's almost pitiful that he has to resort to making up part of his life to feel important! Narcissists just don't know when to quit! I have to admit that it is hard to laugh right now, looking back over the years behind us and the road ahead of me with him in the picture (we do have children together). I don't know how successful he was in the philandering department while we were together. I don't know that I want to know.

I do know that I will not be going back this time. I'm so done that someone could stick a fork in me. And that is what it takes to leave a narcissist. When I finally realized he was never going to change and that I had wasted twelve years with him, my eyes opened wide. In the beginning, I didn't listen to friends and family who tried to talk me out of the relationship. Now I am lying in the bed I made for myself. But that's okay, I'm awake now.